On the Borderline - Life With BPD: Fuu-Chan

Fuu-Chan

My beloved brand-new Mac hiccuped the other day; the screen brightness is now permanently off and Apple won't help me unless I pay monies... augh! N, a friend of mine and my past roommate E's boyfriend, said I prolly need to get the screen replaced. It's been hard to be internet-addicted and I've gotten a ton of stuff done, but I miss Fuu-chan!

I miss Micchan's bigger screen though. :x I admit it.

E is going to get a storage unit tomorrow, and she and N are going to help me move things in, probably Tuesday after class. They drove me to get storage containers today, they're just so nice ;_;

I had a pretty big panic attack at their dorm room last night and E made me tea and N gave me a massage til I calmed down. They're just amazingly sweet people and I'm bummed beyond anything that E's leaving pretty soon, possibly even after summer but hopefully not til after fall.

See, I have a problem. I need help from people all the time. I'm very co-dependent. I can't go places alone; the day I rode a school bus by myself I was so excited and scared I nearly cried. I've only eaten by myself at the cafeteria once and that was while constantly texting Rae for support. It's bad.I've come to depend on E for a lot of things- walking to get cigarettes, even simple tasks like going to a nearby store. She's actually the one that got me started on counseling with the school; a few days after I met her as my roommate, she took me to the office and got me started on the paperwork and everything. She's really amazing and the best part is that she adored Rae too, so there's no issues with that. <3

Speaking of which, Rae supposedly got home over two hours ago. I was freaking out at first when I didn't hear from her, but she let me know that she's there about an hour ago or so. Now I'm worried she fell asleep without signing onto Skype.

Rae! Please come back!!

-sad-


Eden.

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