So my therapy and psyche appointment was a week ago or so and I totally didn't write a report. Whoops. Not that anyone reads them. :p Basically, my therapist and I will focus on my becoming more independent, especially from my parents. I have to learn to act like an adult, take care of myself without someone helping me (reminding me to eat and shower and brush my teeth, for example.), how to work a regular job like a regular person... we'll see. I did indeed get adderall, and my Lamictal is now on 100mg a day- I think that was my old dose too. So we'll see how that goes.
Things at the house are just... within about 3 days they've fallen apart. I don't think I can tell any details, just in case. But D was spreading rumors, S- who I pretty much thought was a nutcase and refused to hang out with- is actually really awesome and we've been talking to her for more than 6 hours at a time for the past two or three days. The landlords have also been telling her lies about us, and they've lied about her too. They claimed we tricked them into letting us take the dog home with us at night, and that we never told them they would be taking care of him while Rae was gone. They told S that we basically dumped him at their place. But the agreement was that they'd take him because I have classes and a full workload. I have literally zero time to take care of a big dog.
Meanwhile, we were going to move in with them, and so was S (who they said to us wouldn't be allowed in the house because of her craziness), but it turns out the house is infested with fleas, roaches, and worms (of the doggy kind), and that since the dogs use the bathroom in the house whenever they feel like it the house is pretty much unfit for anyone to live in. S was staying in our room there while there was drama here, and she woke up with her sinuses on fire because of the smell and ammonia in the air from the dog urine. On top of that the landlords told her we couldn't have the dog anymore, and then told us we would. So S and Rae are trying to find somewhere else to go, I have no idea what I'm doing, I'm terrified of Saturday (but wanting to just enjoy my time with my parents while I can), and just... Augh.
Now, I read tarot. So far I haven't been wrong once. Well, it turns out S reads cards too- it's been in her family for over 600 years- and she gave me a reading. It was way more accurate and detailed than any tarot reading could ever be and it was pretty scary. Basically, it said that I would tell my parents that Rae and I are engaged, they'd take it badly and probably stop talking to me for a while, but that ultimately she and I WILL be married and as soon as I tell my parents everything will go very well.
And it took a while but I've planned to tell them on the 12th. My birthday is on the 11th and they want to drive up and take me out for dinner. Then they want to spend all of the 12th with me. I want to just enjoy my birthday and have an amazing time with them Saturday in case they DO stop talking to me. Then I'll tell them Saturday night (with Rae with me, I pray) and that way they can have time to think it over and talk to each other and hopefully talk to me before they leave on Sunday.
In any case I haven't stopped crying in a long time because I'm terrified. But when I put it down on paper, it's not the end of the world- just one more bump in the road of life. So we'll see what happens.
I'm still upset enough that I skipped my classes today. I also feel sick and it's raining outside.
Things at the house are just... within about 3 days they've fallen apart. I don't think I can tell any details, just in case. But D was spreading rumors, S- who I pretty much thought was a nutcase and refused to hang out with- is actually really awesome and we've been talking to her for more than 6 hours at a time for the past two or three days. The landlords have also been telling her lies about us, and they've lied about her too. They claimed we tricked them into letting us take the dog home with us at night, and that we never told them they would be taking care of him while Rae was gone. They told S that we basically dumped him at their place. But the agreement was that they'd take him because I have classes and a full workload. I have literally zero time to take care of a big dog.
Meanwhile, we were going to move in with them, and so was S (who they said to us wouldn't be allowed in the house because of her craziness), but it turns out the house is infested with fleas, roaches, and worms (of the doggy kind), and that since the dogs use the bathroom in the house whenever they feel like it the house is pretty much unfit for anyone to live in. S was staying in our room there while there was drama here, and she woke up with her sinuses on fire because of the smell and ammonia in the air from the dog urine. On top of that the landlords told her we couldn't have the dog anymore, and then told us we would. So S and Rae are trying to find somewhere else to go, I have no idea what I'm doing, I'm terrified of Saturday (but wanting to just enjoy my time with my parents while I can), and just... Augh.
Now, I read tarot. So far I haven't been wrong once. Well, it turns out S reads cards too- it's been in her family for over 600 years- and she gave me a reading. It was way more accurate and detailed than any tarot reading could ever be and it was pretty scary. Basically, it said that I would tell my parents that Rae and I are engaged, they'd take it badly and probably stop talking to me for a while, but that ultimately she and I WILL be married and as soon as I tell my parents everything will go very well.
And it took a while but I've planned to tell them on the 12th. My birthday is on the 11th and they want to drive up and take me out for dinner. Then they want to spend all of the 12th with me. I want to just enjoy my birthday and have an amazing time with them Saturday in case they DO stop talking to me. Then I'll tell them Saturday night (with Rae with me, I pray) and that way they can have time to think it over and talk to each other and hopefully talk to me before they leave on Sunday.
In any case I haven't stopped crying in a long time because I'm terrified. But when I put it down on paper, it's not the end of the world- just one more bump in the road of life. So we'll see what happens.
I'm still upset enough that I skipped my classes today. I also feel sick and it's raining outside.
