So I don't think I've actually written down a list of BPD Syymptoms. These are pretty important.
First of all, though, you have to know that a lot of these are part of most people's daily lives. Some people just get depressed for awhile. Some people have random bursts of happiness or are easily irritated or angered. This doesn't mean you have Borderline Personality Disorder.
Second of all, you should get diagnosed by a trained professional; otherwise, if you don't have it, you'll convince yourself that you do, and it is Not Fun. If you DO have it, you'll make it worse.
And so.
Official DSM-IV Criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder
The DSM is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manuual, used by pretty much all psychiatrists and therapists. It is constantly being updated and changed.
These are the current symptoms used for diagnosing a patient:
A
pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by
five (or more) of the following:
1) frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
This can lead to one or more of the following: Stalking, threatening, manipulating, staying in an abusive relationship, suffocation, dumping or leaving someone 'before they do it,' etcetera.
2) a pattern of unstable & intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
This is commonly known as black and white thinking or "splitting." Basically, I love you and you're perfect and can do no wrong- did you forget to call me back? I hate you! Never speak to me again! ...Get the idea? Obviously, this makes it very difficult to have a stable relationship with a lover, friends, even family.
3) identity disturbance: markedly and persistent unstable self-image or sense of self
Who am I? Or constantly changing the way you dress, act, or speak depending on who you are with or even where you are. I don't mean, say, acting professionally in the workplace (assuming your symptoms are not so severe that you can't hold down a job, which is common). I'm talking about wearing a mask for every situation- and not knowing what's beneath it. Personally, sometimes I look in the mirror and don't recognize my reflection. Sometimes I forget my own name.
4) impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
This refers to more than acting out or being a wild party person or what-have-you. This means you sleep around all the time, you eat all the time, you are a shopaholic, alcoholic, crack addict, etc. Sometimes it's mild- I have a lot of impulses, but they aren't usually too bad. It comes and goes.
5) recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
I hate to talk about it, but my arms were pretty much hamburger meat when I was thirteen. I have a lot of scarring on my breasts (where I could hide it from my parents... at first anyway), and most of the other ones are gone but there are still a lot of old scars that stand out, especially my inside upper arms. I attempted suicide once, at fifteen or sixteen. However, I've never -threatened- to hurt myself or kill myself. I also don't like people seeing my scars, so I never did it for attention.
Another note on that subject- some younger kids or teens will do it for attention or to be cool. But that doesn't mean every kid or teen is just out for attention- sometimes it's a cry for help.
Last note: I hate hate HATE how it's portrayed in movies, shows, most books, photography and other art, songs, and music videos. (Did I leave anything out? Oh yes- poetry and any other form of writing as well.) It's rarely realistic, always shows the person as pathetic or "emo," and overall stupid.
...Right, sore subject. Sorry.
6) affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
This is the worst for me. I complain about it a lot on here because it's always happening. Ranging from 15 minutes to several hours, and about twice a year a couple of days or so with minor differences every few minutes. I'm awesome and my art is wonderful! Ugh no, it sucks. Damnit, I just want to draw well! I hate it, I'm a hack, I'll never be able to do this... Man, my roommates are so annoying, sitting there minding their own business. Oooh, I drew a flower! It's so pretty!
You get the idea. That, but worse.
Very occasionally, during those twice-a-year episodes, I'm suicidal for days. It's scary as fuck. This year's first one was the worst I've had in YEARS.
7) chronic feelings of emptiness
This used to be a huge problem for me, now it's not quite as bad. It can last a while- for me, the longest was about a week back in high school- and can easily go either way when it's over: drop into despairing depression, or lift me up into a rainbow fairy magical land where unicorns poop sprinkles.
Makes for some surreal poetry though.
8) inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
I didn't know I did this until, oh, last Christmas. Therapists wouldn't believe I was diagnosed with BPD before I saw them, because I "don't look violent." Well, it turns out that I DO have this issue and then my brain will block it from my mind. I don't remember whole days. I've done things such as yell at my parents for daring to tell me they like *those* shoes better on me, call my sister up and scream at her before hanging up on her out of the blue, etcetera. It explains why my sister still hates me- and I didn't know why until a few months ago!
9) transient, stress related paranoia or severe dissociative symptoms
Yeah. I was on meds for paranoia in 8th grade or so, maybe a bit later. As for the dissociation, it's similar to the empty feeling, but more interesting. I'm floating in a different time and space, watching everything happen. Time slows down for everyone else and my movements are sluggish. I can barely speak. I can't focus my eyes on anything. I'm flying and on the ground at the same time. It's disorienting and very obvious to everyone else so I try to stay secluded.
Now, the general consensus is that nobody can be officially diagnosed until they're at least 18. Anyone want to guess why?
That's right, sir in the front row. It's because our brain chemicals and things aren't very developed and stable until we're about... 24, I think? But eh, they picked 18 for whatever reason.
BPD symptoms become evident in late adolescence and early adulthood. Me, I knew what it was when I was 12, and I just fought it as much as I could. Didn't work, did it.
But as you can probably guess, a lot of teens will be convinced they have it. Lashing out at their parents, sneaking out late to party, being depressed or angry for no discernible reason, writing angsty poetry (guilty.), threatening suicide if they don't get what they want, desperate attempts to keep their boyfriend/girlfriend, not knowing who they are... it sucks, but it's usually a normal part of growing up.
Or as is the case with a forum I occasionally object myself to, many, MANY people in volatile relationships- usually dumped- will insist their SO had BPD and that's why they were nuts.
Chances are, your ex-wife was just a bitch.
