And I don't mean any awareness days here. Today I had an interesting situation when in a sudden burst of clarity, I was able to see just how sick I am, how serious my BPD is compared to what I thought it was. It scared me so bad that I immediately fogged back up to "maybe nothing's wrong me me lalala."
I don't think I'm in denial. I mean, I could be, I can't be 100% certain I'm not, but I admit there is a problem and that it isn't trivial. But part of me- a bigger part- says that maybe it'll just go away. It whispers that I don't belong on medication as strong as Abilify. It hisses that I'm an idiot for thinking of inpatient hospitals. It purrs that I'm fine.
It lies.
Eden.
I don't think I'm in denial. I mean, I could be, I can't be 100% certain I'm not, but I admit there is a problem and that it isn't trivial. But part of me- a bigger part- says that maybe it'll just go away. It whispers that I don't belong on medication as strong as Abilify. It hisses that I'm an idiot for thinking of inpatient hospitals. It purrs that I'm fine.
It lies.
Eden.
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