I don't have any proof for anything I'm about to write, so there.
Most articles and things I've read on BPD show the future is pretty bleak. Although there are new treatments- such as new medications and DBT, or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (such as this workbook I've linked before), which many, many people swear by. But I'm scared shitless. So's Rae, I think.
Basically, it MIGHT go away by the time I hit 50. It likely won't. It tends to get worse with age. It sucks now, but it's not as serious as most cases- but I'm only 22 and assuming it DOES go away by 50, I still have 28 years to go.
No wonder the (successful) BPD suicide rate is 1 in 10.
Rae doesn't quite come out and say it, but there's a big probability that we won't have children because I'm crazy. Seriously, I'd probably get post-partum depression (my crazy psychiatrist told me "never have kids", my Lamictal can cause infertility anyway. Not that he mentioned that last part until much later.), attempt to murder my children, and be locked away in a criminal asylum. Or I'd just be a moody bitch to them until they grow up, move as far away as they can, and show up to my funeral... hopefully.
As for the cause of BPD, oh guess what nobody knows. There are theories, of course. But that's it. One doc blamed my parents (she had me talking back to them for weeks.), and everyone I've seen is at a loss as to what might have happened (nobody's willing to try hypnosis just in case it's too awful, or something) or even how to deal with me- it generally ends in "well, what do you want to do? how do you want to treat this?" ....um. You're the licensed mind doc, remember?
So there you have it. Nobody knows anything and I gave up trying long ago.
Eden.
Most articles and things I've read on BPD show the future is pretty bleak. Although there are new treatments- such as new medications and DBT, or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (such as this workbook I've linked before), which many, many people swear by. But I'm scared shitless. So's Rae, I think.
Basically, it MIGHT go away by the time I hit 50. It likely won't. It tends to get worse with age. It sucks now, but it's not as serious as most cases- but I'm only 22 and assuming it DOES go away by 50, I still have 28 years to go.
No wonder the (successful) BPD suicide rate is 1 in 10.
Rae doesn't quite come out and say it, but there's a big probability that we won't have children because I'm crazy. Seriously, I'd probably get post-partum depression (my crazy psychiatrist told me "never have kids", my Lamictal can cause infertility anyway. Not that he mentioned that last part until much later.), attempt to murder my children, and be locked away in a criminal asylum. Or I'd just be a moody bitch to them until they grow up, move as far away as they can, and show up to my funeral... hopefully.
As for the cause of BPD, oh guess what nobody knows. There are theories, of course. But that's it. One doc blamed my parents (she had me talking back to them for weeks.), and everyone I've seen is at a loss as to what might have happened (nobody's willing to try hypnosis just in case it's too awful, or something) or even how to deal with me- it generally ends in "well, what do you want to do? how do you want to treat this?" ....um. You're the licensed mind doc, remember?
So there you have it. Nobody knows anything and I gave up trying long ago.
Eden.
April 4, 2011 at 11:29 PM
Not entirely accurate. I was diagnosed with BPD something like 6-7 years ago, went through about a year of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, and have been more or less steadily improving ever since.
Don't give up just because statistics tell you to.
April 5, 2011 at 10:21 AM
That makes me feel better, Tim. Thank you. : )
April 23, 2011 at 2:40 AM
Hi! I've started following both you and Rae recently and wanted to weigh in on this.
BPD often gets better with age, not worse, and tends to start calming down by your 30's. It isn't 100% obviously, but it is common enough that my therapist is pretty confident telling me that fact.
4 years ago I was a mess. I was in hospital, suicidal, in a dead end job I never showed up to, broke and at the end of the road. Now I live with my partner, happily, make a fair amount of money, own my own business and just generally rock at life. My abandonment isn't as bad as it used to be. Generally, my life has improved 300%.
Basically, don't ever think you're doomed or it won't change. If there is one thing my disorder has proven to me is that nothing is impossible.
:)
April 23, 2011 at 1:55 PM
Thank you Dimmie! I do feel a lot better knowing that it DOES get better- and especially that things turned out so well for you! That's so awesome! <3