Inner Monologue # 2.
Condensed for attention span and length. And sadly almost verbatim.
[Setting: Cleaning the bathtub.]
[Me (E) and my inner!Laia (I), who Sucks At the Therapees]
E: La dee dah, cleaning the tub~
I: …Why?
E: What?
I: Why are you cleaning the tub? Make roommates do it.
E: Why am I talking to myself inside my own head?
I: Make the roommates do it.
E: Well, no. V's usually pretty clean and N claims she does it but it's still gross.
I: There's dead skin in there. And dirt.
E: I'm wearing gloves and this Windex kills germs. It smells like oranges!
I: …You inhaled too much of it and now you're going to get cancer.
E: I smoke. Windex won't kill me. Can't breathe though.
I: Told you.
E: Shut up. I'm opening the door.
I: You forgot to call the bank about the missing money.
E: I can see it now. "Why are you calling us at 2am?" Well sir, I'm a college student and I'm awake at two in the morning, scrubbing the bathtub, so why not? ...Ugh, this stuff is stronger than I thought. Bathroom fan isn't very good is it.
I: Cancer.
E: At least it'll be citrus scented cancer.
I: Reeeally.
E: Yes, really. I don't remember my inner!Laia being such a condescending bitch.
I: I'm not her. And you should stop having your little OCD moment, you have homework to do.
E: Shut up. You're a horrible inner voice.
I: FIne.
[Silence]
I: You missed a spot. And you picked up the gross old sponge by accident.
E: Shit! Okay, that's fine. I have Windex.
I: Cancer.
[Sulking silence]
I: Don't think about the number four.
E: Fuck you! You suck at this!
I: I thought you liked me.
E: I like Laia. At least she's real. And she's good at this.
[Silence]
E: …hello? Helloooo? Voice in my head?
[Silence]
E: Oh. Guess you're gone then.
Condensed for attention span and length. And sadly almost verbatim.
[Setting: Cleaning the bathtub.]
[Me (E) and my inner!Laia (I), who Sucks At the Therapees]
E: La dee dah, cleaning the tub~
I: …Why?
E: What?
I: Why are you cleaning the tub? Make roommates do it.
E: Why am I talking to myself inside my own head?
I: Make the roommates do it.
E: Well, no. V's usually pretty clean and N claims she does it but it's still gross.
I: There's dead skin in there. And dirt.
E: I'm wearing gloves and this Windex kills germs. It smells like oranges!
I: …You inhaled too much of it and now you're going to get cancer.
E: I smoke. Windex won't kill me. Can't breathe though.
I: Told you.
E: Shut up. I'm opening the door.
I: You forgot to call the bank about the missing money.
E: I can see it now. "Why are you calling us at 2am?" Well sir, I'm a college student and I'm awake at two in the morning, scrubbing the bathtub, so why not? ...Ugh, this stuff is stronger than I thought. Bathroom fan isn't very good is it.
I: Cancer.
E: At least it'll be citrus scented cancer.
I: Reeeally.
E: Yes, really. I don't remember my inner!Laia being such a condescending bitch.
I: I'm not her. And you should stop having your little OCD moment, you have homework to do.
E: Shut up. You're a horrible inner voice.
I: FIne.
[Silence]
I: You missed a spot. And you picked up the gross old sponge by accident.
E: Shit! Okay, that's fine. I have Windex.
I: Cancer.
[Sulking silence]
I: Don't think about the number four.
E: Fuck you! You suck at this!
I: I thought you liked me.
E: I like Laia. At least she's real. And she's good at this.
[Silence]
E: …hello? Helloooo? Voice in my head?
[Silence]
E: Oh. Guess you're gone then.
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